Living "coram Deo"

Recently while I was suffering through a migraine I was reminded of a simple and really important area of my spiritual life that has been lacking.

I get the type of migraines where I have to turn off all of the lights, lie in bed, and lay completely still. (I don't remember if I had such bad headaches when we were in high school. Do you?) Anyway, while I was lying there in pain trying to fall asleep I thought to myself, "Well, now that I'm stuck here for the next couple of hours, what can I do to pass the time?" Immediately God spoke to my heart and said, "You could talk to me. That's why I knocked you on your back, so you would talk to me today." So I did.

And when I did I was reminded of something I had read in R.C. Sproul's "Tabletalk" magazine. In it he always talked about living coram Deo. When I first read that I thought it was kind of silly to be honest. But then I actually started to read what Sproul was saying about coram Deo. In an article I found he says this, "[The] phrase literally refers to something that takes place in the presence of, or before the face of, God. To live corm Deo is to live one's entire life in the presence of God, under the authority of God, to the glory of God." That's pretty weighty. I mean, to live one's entire life consciously aware of the presence of God, before His face. How often do we forget that we are always in God's presence. It's not like God comes into our presence or we go into God's presence only when we pray. We are always in His presence, and not the other way around.

I think this truth, if lived out, would have a great bearing on our devotional lives and ultimately how we live before others. I'm glad that understanding to live coram Deo isn't some spiritual "trick" or "secret". I think we each know that "spiritual secrets" are for guys like Benny Hinn (with the exception of Hudson Taylor's biography, which you should read).

Sometimes when I get really bogged down or depressed or just struggling to fight just to fight for joy, I ask myself questions like "What's the point?" or "Is being a Christian even any good?" Some times I wonder what the big idea of all of this is, and I think we have both been there. I'm glad that Sproul had something to say about that in his article. He said, "The big idea of the Christian life is corm Deo. Coram Deo captures the essence of the Christian life."

I was lying in my bed in complete dark silence and I was just basking in the light of the fact that I was in the presence of God. My head was killing me but I was there with God. We talked. I did most of the talking, all the stuff He said was more like images and thoughts planted in my head to think on. He convicted me of sin, spoke tenderly to me, and I was enjoying my migraine.

A lot of times when I sit down to pray, or am asked to pray in a group I feel like I'm too dirty to talk to Jesus. Like no matter how hard I try I just somehow won't be able to mean it enough. That's usually how I feel when I pray with other Christians. But when God knocked me on my back and made me open my eyes and look at Him and I realized I was living coram Deo whether I realized it or not, I was free to run to Him, talk to Him, tell Him how I was hurting (physically and spiritually).

I think when we are living coram Deo it becomes more natural to slip into prayer than it is when we rarely have God-ward thoughts or are asked to pray with a group. Brother Lawrence says in (his humble manifesto) The Practice of the Presence of God,

"How can we ask for [grace] unless we are with Him? How can we be with Him unless our thoughts are ever of Him? How can He be in our thoughts unless we form a holy habit of abiding in His presence?"

Abiding in His presence, or living coram Deo is why we are still breathing, and it's the unseen truth in our devotional lives that should fan into flame our devotion.

I'm praying that whenever you read this you will join me in practicing the presence of God or living coram Deo or however you want to say it. With regards to our devotional lives, Brother Lawrence said this of himself, ask yourself if this is true for you. And if not, start talking to God right then:

"I have come to see that my only business is to live as though there were none but He and I in the world."

Boston Pt. 2

In my last post I confessed that I am often a coward and how I lose faith easily. That's still true. Among many things that I could write to you about I'd like to follow up on what I said last time.

After a semester of spinning my wheels and backsliding God has (I feel) finally gotten my attention once again. The Scripture is right when it says that "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned-every one-to his own way." Why do we wait for Him to get our attention? I don't know. Besides the fact that we, by our nature, love to hate the things of God. Now more than before I feel God calling me back to loving Him. How sweet is the communion between God and man? That Christ is Savior, Lord, AND Friend? That Christ is a friend is becoming a new reality that I'm starting to see and feel more than I ever have. O what a friend we have in Jesus:

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilage to carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged,
Take it to the Lord in prayer:
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus Knows our every weakness,
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Saviour, still our refuge;
Take it to the Lord in prayer:
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He'll take and shield thee;
Thou wilt find a solace there.

What a privilege, what a peace! Can we find a friend so faithful? Still our refuge, still our shield and solace.

Things don't seem so impossible and futile when God is your friend. I was (and still often am) concerned about my possible future in Boston; but Oh how sweet is being with Jesus and feeling the joy of friendship with God. And knowing that he is able. In Ephesians 3 Paul says glory be to "Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think."

God is able. God is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask of Him to do and anything we can even conceive of.

My fears: I might fail in Boston. People will reject the gospel. God might be dishonored.

My hopes: God moves mightily in the lives of the people of Boston. God is glorified and made much of.

God is able to do so much more than any of my hopes! He's got a better plan and He's bigger than my fears.

Can/Will God bring revival to the hearts of the people of New England?

He is able to do FAR more!

So I will continue to pray and seek holiness. Pray with me?